22 Aug 2018
Forgiveness really is such a healer. I found it to mend me more than it probably will you. Either way, I see it only fitting for me to write.
Bitterness had taken over my mind, my soul. I wrote with a poisonous pen, and it held me back. The negativity of holding grudges was baggage that I brought with me everywhere I went, and for a long time I didn’t even realize it.
How did I expect for a loving life with a beautiful connection to God if I could not abide by his commands?
If Jesus can, in his most anger-worthy moment, shout a prayer for God to please forgive his murderers, then why can we not also forgive those who have done wrong by us? It isn’t easy by any means, but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it. Maybe.
With the new space inside my mind, I’m able to fill myself with more of my messy, happy thoughts.
For example, I see the world in color now. So many wondrous hues. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Do you see the yellows? The blues?
Sometimes, I wonder if you see the earth in the same way, the same light. Everyone’s different, but aren’t our eyes made of the same stuff?
I don’t know. I speculate a bit.. a lot.
My mind tends to wonder and where it lands it wanders. It does no good to try to bring it back, for it moves at a speed not yet discovered. The places it leads me to makes up for the motion sickness, though.
I do believe I’m rambling. Very well, I’ll wrap this up now.
Just know, all I see now are possibilities. My pupils dial in on the smallest of the flowers because that is the one that will have the most potential. For she waited patiently and learned gracefully, and because of this, she will grow the most expertly.
Am I crazy? I prefer curious. It is a freeing feeling to lay at night and be consumed with wondrous thoughts such as these instead of anger and negativity. I do believe I’ve never slept deeper. I also do believe that to travel and learn is to dream at night. Do you? Maybe not. That’s okay.
You are the one who aided me in discovering my discoveries by hurting me. This newfound space would have never happened had you never took up my thoughts in the first place.
Therefore, I wish you all the same. I hope your eyes relish in the pigment of the skies, your mind escapes from time to time, and your heart leaps from your chest and into God’s gentle palms.
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Life can be messy. Thank God I have my faith and my pencil.