Feb. 11, 2018
“Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing…” – Elizabeth Gilbert
What a sensitive, sore topic. The kind that makes us cover our eyes with shaking hands because we can’t bare to look in the mirror. We can’t see ourselves this way. This broken.
We hide away from even the things that make us happy because the memories woven into them manipulate that happiness into the worst kind of sadness. So, we fall into isolation.
Heartbreak comes in many forms from several different types of relationships, but don’t they all feel quite similar? Quite brain-splittingly unbearable?
Because maybe that person chose to leave, or maybe there was really no choice at all, but the fact of the matter is someone we never thought we would have to live without is gone. There’s a gaping hole in our lives that we have absolutely no idea how to fill.
And it hurts. For a long time. In the end, time truly is the only way for us to heal because in the very end the only way for us to heal is for us to forget.
What a harsh reality.
To forget the way her eyes lit up when she laughed, the times he went out of his way to make you smile, the moment she realized she loved you, the moment he realized he didn’t.
They have to be distant, hazy memories that surface just every once in a while on a blue moon. That is the only way for us to heal, but the fact of the matter is the moment we begin moving on is the exact moment our hearts hurt the most because what?
How can I be forgetting the times that I felt the most alive for so long? How can I love someone and yet forget the way they looked?
Letting go is so very impossible, it seems. We all reach that point in similar steps but once we are here, it is up to us. You have to choose to unravel the hold you have on this person, even if every time a finger loosens, as does your composure.
You have to fall and break and scream because if you don’t then what’s the point?
We have to accept that parts of us will die in order for new pieces to grow in those places. All the sadness we experience is what gives us the capacity for the happiness.
So let this hurt. Let it fester and burn. Just don’t let it destroy you.
Do this for the time when you’ll look back, and you’ll smile. You are going to feel strong once the pain has passed, I promise.
Because the more our hearts break, the more lessons we learn. And so long as we treat these heartbreaks as opportunities to grow, we will become unbreakable.
Inside us there will be a revolution, and we will discover so very much more about ourselves in our moments of despair than we ever could in our moments of strength.
Taelyn's Posts America author beauty blog bukowski bully bullying change Charles bukowski Christian dark death dreams faith goals God insanity jewelry judgement Las Vegas Las Vegas shooting life love me Miss America Miss Oklahoma murder new pageant photography politics pray for Las Vegas race religion rights risk sad segregation selflove SERENITY Shakespeare shooting society speech suicide taelynwrites truth victim writing
Life can be messy. Thank God I have my faith and my pencil.